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Reinforcing Evangelists and Aiding Pastors

I sent you to reap that for which you have not labored...and you have entered their labors. (John 4:38)

Christian Humor
'Blessed is the man who can laugh at himself... verily he shall not crack up!" Read this over and check the ones where you fit. Be honest.

Box score ....

  • 0-2.... You're dead
  • 3-5 .... Perfectionist
  • 6-9 .... Average
  • 10-13 .... Furlough is due
  • 14-16 .... Retire please
(Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely intentional)
1) Efficient Eddie: He has a card-catalogue mind, a place for everything and everything in it's place. His files are well classified but he is a -101   slave to detail, controlled by it, not controlling it.
2) Perfectionist Pete: He's sure if he doesn't personally do it, it just wont be done right, so he bitterly goes about doing a few things perfect. He never learns the secret of the difference between the president of leadership: delegation of responsibility...a department store and a shoe-shine man.
3) Indigenous Ike: He's a fanatic on being all things to all men". Though his motive is noble, his method sometimes rubs "State-side' missionaries the wrong way, embarrasses his wife, but gladdens the Japanese, who overlook the way his kimono is sometimes inside out.
4) Executive Eric: He was used to push-buttons on his desk phone for his secretary, another for office boy, etc. Now he furiously pushes but the button simply replies "ashita dekiru desho!"
5) Critical Charlie: To him every glass of water is half empty, never half-full. He sees a demon on every shoulder and believes his calling is to critically analyze everything and everyone but himself. Slowly his soul dries up, shriveled up from the bitterness of bickering.
6) Investigator Ivan: Being convinced he s the Christian Joe Mccarthy who "has come to the kingdom for such a time as this". he forever minds everybody else's business but his own, computing statistics on evil in others. Then without any semblance to Christian charity or truthfulness, he circulates 8 carbon copies of his charges "confidentially."
7) Naive Nelson: 'Whatever they say (Japanese brethren. Field Council leaders, latest mimeographed policies) is right, so why fight?" is his motto. He is as pliable as putty, dependable only to follow the latest twist in the party line, be quiet, offend no one, and go on his mediocre missionary way.
8) Crisis Cyrus:  He sees dark, gathering storms in every morning headline and is prepared to flee at a moment's notice ahead of the invading communists, income tax collectors or H. Bomb ashes, leaving behind similar neurotic, unstable Christians 'tossed about by every strange wind of doctrine."
9) Plodder Paul: He is slow motion incarnate, who plans on a 40 year ministry. Violently against evangelists, he says, "1 prefer hand-picked fruit," not because he picks them himself, but because he doesn't happen to own a "reaper" and he piously must justify himself to his wife.
I0) State-side Stanley: Look this is the way we do it at home-we have the offering before the sermon, we build concrete churches, people raise their hands and come forward".. his unconscious goal..."Americanize, not evangelize the Japanese."
11) Reformer Roger: He secretly plans to "purge the land' by driving at nite and overturning all the little roadside idols. He's also planning petition to the Government to change over to English.
12) Pessimist Percy: To him, the world is fast going to the LbQ1e%yows" and what's more, so is the church. With his pink pessimistic glasses be reads all news with the view of holstering his pre-conceived notions that "all's wrong with the world and God's left Hi throne," Meanwhile most people avoid him, for with him there is no "good word."
13) Milk toast Melvin: His favorite verse is "the servant of the Lord must not strive, but be patient." He goes on his rubbery, watered-clown, door-mat way, trying to whittle himself down to please everyone. His brother himself did this till he woke up one day to find himself whittled down to a toothpick.
14) Optimist Otto: It's always a "bea-u-ti-ful day" and everything is always 'just fine" even though his office and home are one big upswept mess, half his support is dropped and the kids are sick. If only he and Pessimist Percy could live together, they'd be the most balanced men alive.
15) Individualist Isaac: He has a congenital fear of committees and believes everyone is conspiring to overthrow his projects. The' truth is most people don't even remember his name. His tribe, sprouting like weeds all over God's pasture, usually overlap in their ministry. He also loves to be the combination president, vice-president, secretary and treasurer.
16) Squatter Steve: Not only does he plan to settle down to a 40 year ministry, but be plans to spend it in one place. Oh yes, he has scripture -"He shall not suffer the righteous to be moved."
17) Victorious Vic: Though he realizes that there's a little bit of each of these 16 characters in bins, yet he also realizes that the secret of victory is Col. 1:27 "Christ in you, the hope of glory". . J or "It is God working in you" both to will and to do of His good pleasure." So he invests his time in prayer and fellowship and the ministry of the Word, liberating the Holy Ghost of God, Christ, Himself, to live, plan, expedite, will, campaign, think and do all His Holy pleasure in and by and through him.


The editors realize that some consider all humor wrong for Christians. A Kyoto minister wrote: "God never told a joke!" We solicit your comments. Shall someone write "Missionary Portraits-Women Only??"

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